A letter to the people in the world who believe I should bounce back after I have a baby:

You think you know what it’s like to have three bodies over the course of one year?

 A body  that is not pregnant, a body that is growing a baby for 9 months or so, and one that is navigating postpartum.  

You can’t possibly know the journey I went through to create this baby. 

Maybe there was loss involved along the way. 

Perhaps I had to go through the process of IVF to make this baby. 

My pregnancy might have been really smooth and what might be referred to as “fairly normal.”

This pregnancy could have been filled with many sleepless nights, the inability to keep food down, and moments where I felt really fearful. 

My birth was beautiful and messy.

My birth was intense and powerful.

My birth was unique and unexpected. 

This body of mine, it endured more than I ever thought possible. 

It stretched, grew, and did things I never imagined it could do. 

This body brought a human into the world.

An entire human being!

These facts are all unknown to you, and that’s okay that you didn’t know them. 

But it’s not okay that you assumed this body of mine is like a ball bounced against a wall in the hopes that it would return directly to the owner exactly the same. 

Bodies bouncing back from all of the nuances  that surround birth is a myth.

This myth  says my body is static and incapable of change. This myth says that I am not allowed to look or be different after such a profound journey. 

The reality is, my body is capable of so much more than bouncing back.

I want you to know that whatever you expect of my body after I have my baby is none of your concern. 

As far as bouncing back goes, I think I’ll stick to taking things slow and gentle so that my body becomes whatever it needs to be next. 

Kindly,

Bodies everywhere