I Miss My Old Life. Is That Normal?

Your body took the tiniest cells and turned them into an honest-to-goodness HUMAN.

And as soon as that child exited your body, your entire life changed.

Your identity changes to Mom. You become 100% responsible for another human life. Instead of sleeping when you’re tired, you begin to sleep (or not sleep) around this little person’s schedule. A quick run to Target is no longer just ‘quick.’ Your body has morphed into new shapes after pregnancy. Your breasts may feel like they belong to someone else. Eating, peeing… it’s all dependent on how your tiny creation feels at that very moment.

Can we tell you a secret?

It’s okay to not love every minute of it.

You don’t magically turn into a bad parent because you miss your life before baby.

You can be an amazingly good parent and still wish you could turn back time.

You can love your child and still wonder if you were really made to be a parent.

It’s completely normal to feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself when your child entered the world.

Hear us again: It’s normal. And you are NOT a bad mom.

When your mind takes you to those places, can we make a few suggestions?

Sit with it.

These feelings are normal and not anything you need to run away from. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that this major life shift is hard and tiring and uncomfortable. Honesty is a great place to start.

Allow yourself to dream.

Yes, life has changed. It’s going to look very different with this little one in tow, but that doesn’t mean it won’t also include fun and adventures and romance and spontaneity. Let yourself go there. What amazing things might your life include after you’ve settled into this new role?

Talk to someone.

Whether it’s your partner, a close friend, or your therapist, saying these feelings out loud to another person can give you the space to better process what’s really behind these thoughts.

Take a moment.

Your body may be telling you that you need a bit of self care. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need a spa day or a vacation. It might just mean that you need to carve out some time for a shower, a full meal, or even just a large glass of water.

If we could sit with you face to face right now, we’d grab ahold of your hand, pull you close, look you in they eye and tell you that you’re not broken. This thought is perfectly normal… we just don’t talk about it nearly enough.