Doula + Surrogacy
So you’ve decided to be a surrogate.
Phew.
Congratulations doesn’t quite seem like the right word. Whether you’re going through an agency to help someone, anyone, become parents, or you’re doing this for a friend or family member, we’re sure it wasn’t an easy decision. As women, as humans, sometimes you just feel a pull to help others. You jump in, feet first, because of course you’d love to help another family have a baby. For whatever reason, they’re unable to carry a baby, and you’ve done it successfully before.
So why not?
You enjoyed being pregnant, and this time you don’t have to do the long, sleepless nights after the baby arrives.
Whether you are pregnant already, or are starting the process to become pregnant as a surrogate, you probably have a million things running through your mind. You’re excited. Maybe you’ve read over your contract a dozen times, backward and forward, and met with a lawyer. You’ve had multiple appointments, a psych evaluation, interviews with the intended parents, and maybe you’ve started your injections.
Right now, the focus is probably on getting pregnant, or the beginning stages of pregnancy. Labor probably hasn’t crossed your mind, yet. It’s probably one of the furthest things from your mind in the beginning. But, it’s coming.
That’s where a Doula comes in.
Did you know that a Doula can be included in your surrogacy contract if you negotiate it?
Having a Doula in the room means having someone in your corner to help you through not only the labor and delivery, but being there next to you while everyone gushes over the sweet new babe or babies.
Checking on YOU, to make sure that YOU are okay.
Having a baby brings lots of emotions, whether or not you are the intended parent. It can also mean that there is someone else to explain to the new nurse on duty that this is a surrogacy journey, and not to refer to the baby as yours, so you don’t have to say it 100 times.
A common doula support affirmation could sound like “You’re doing so great, you get to meet your baby today.” For you, meeting the baby you’ve been carrying for nearly 10 months isn’t quite the same. And no matter how much you prepared yourself for this moment, it’s going to be hard.
Harder than you anticipated.
Our Doulas understand.
PNW Doulas has supported many surrogate clients. We’ll help you when you hit active labor and experience fear of what is to come, an adrenaline rush that comes in and halts progress. We will sit there with you while the doctor helps you deliver the placenta, the final push of your journey. We’ll meet you where you’re at, with our knowledge and experience of labor, and simply to be there during one of the hardest things you may ever do.
YOUR experience matters in this journey.
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Written by Samantha O’Neil- Labor Doula, Postpartum Doula, and Surrogate