Lily White: My attempt at understanding my privilege

When I buy foundation, I have to buy one of the lightest colors.

While my family history is not all lily white, my skin is about as lily as they come.

No matter who my great grandparents were, I have the privilege of walking this earth with very fair skin. It’s taken me a long time to understand that privilege, but I can now begin to comprehend that when it comes to the world we live in, my skin color has more than likely been a benefit for me.

Along with my skin color, I am a Christian. And a heterosexual woman. And I was born in the United States to parents who were born in the United States.

With all that is happening in the political arena lately, I've been working through how to handle all of it from a personal and business aspect.

Because, you know, I’m a white, middle class, Christian woman born in America.

I live in a city where we’re diverse in many ways, but color and religion aren't necessarily part of that diversity. And I’m going to be completely up front with you in saying that I don’t know how to best approach it. I don’t know how to be respectful and not offend. I don’t know how to give support without making it about myself. I don’t know what matters from a perspective that I do not have.

I don’t know.

So, let’s be honest. I may completely screw all of this up. But I’m going to try anyway.

I’m going to do the one thing that I know to do.

I’m going to show love. And I’ll give you the interpretation of love that comes from my heart.

Please forgive me if it’s the wrong translation. I need to attempt it because silence doesn't feel right either.

My Love:

Love doesn’t say, “I don’t see color.”

Love says: I see your color and it’s beautiful and I honor it.

Love doesn’t say: “I don’t see a difference.”

Love says: I see your differences and I respect them with all that I am.

Love doesn’t say: “Racism isn’t a thing anymore.”

Love says: I’m so sorry the world hasn’t been kind to you and to your family. I will fight against the racism that definitely still exists.

Love doesn’t say: “This has no impact on me.”

Love says: Because YOU matter, I will do better. I will raise my children to do better.

Love says: This MUST impact me because it impacts you.

Am I doing this all wrong? I could be. Is my thinking still skewed by a lifetime of hearing things that most definitely fall into a racist, discriminatory category? Probably.

If you’re reading this and your skin is darker than mine or your religion is different than mine or you were born in a place outside of the US, I want to love you well.

As a business, Pacific Northwest Doulas is determined to love and serve well.

We will continue to grow and learn and do better. We’re committed to that process. “I don’t know how” isn’t an excuse we’re willing to accept.

No matter your race, religion, gender, sexual preferences, place of birth, etc, etc, etc., PNW Doulas is committed to standing up for you as a fellow human being who is worthy of respect.