When Baby Refuses the Breast

If you Googled this topic and ended up at this post, we’re going to guess that you’re in the midst of a tough moment.

Deep breath.

When you enter your parenting journey with the plan to exclusively breastfeed, you have certain expectations. Those expectations may include that you will be the sole human on earth who can meet the need of nourishing your baby. You may see the difficulty in being that sole nourisher, but you’re prepared to work through it because you see this as the very best thing for your tiny human.

And then baby refuses to accept your breast as the means of nourishment.

This brings big feelings. Maybe a feeling of anxiety or panic- because a) how will we fix this?! and b) this baby needs to eat! Or maybe there’s a feeling of rejection- which feels so weird because you know that it’s logically impossible- but yet it feels so real.

Sometimes the differences between expectations and reality hit abundantly hard.

Your feelings are valid. You’re experiencing something that is far outside the plan, dream, or goal that was in place for this feeding relationship.

So what now?

How do we get this baby nourished when the breast isn’t their favorite thing at the moment?

Feeding your baby is our priority. That may look like hand-expressing a bit of breastmilk or colostrum and spoon feeding it to your baby. A different form of feeding your baby in this instance is not making a permanent decision, it’s just getting some nourishment into the baby while working on a solution.

And now we ‘doula’ both you and baby.

This feels big and scary. Along with the fear and frustration, adrenaline is also building. We know that adrenaline isn’t helpful in this process.

After temporarily nourishing your baby, we can take a brief break from the worry of nourishing the baby and simply focus on bonding with the baby.

Skin to skin.

Swaying.

Rocking.

A bath together.

Snuggle with your little one and create space for good ol’ oxytocin (the loved, safe, secure hormone) to build for both of you. The refocus on nurturing and bonding allows for a bit of a ‘restart’ in the feeding process.

When both you and baby are calm, begin the feeding process again.

Turn the lights low. Eliminate the extra distractions. Talk softly to your baby. Bring them skin to skin with you. And attempt to bring them to breast for a feeding again.

If the refusal continues, you can continue with a temporary solution for nourishment until you’re able to get in with your IBCLC or pediatrician.

Deep breath.

This is temporary.